jihad ul nuffs

Nuffs, ego, subconcious, the real you.

Do you really know who you are? Do you know what you are capable of and not capable of? In truth, you can try contemplating on what is and what is not, however you are not trully satisfied, until you have tried and failed or succeeded. Even the so called most intelligent among us, scientists, use the most simple method of trial & improvement.

I am going through Jihad-ul-Nufs. Jihad is struggle, and Nufs is your 'self', ur ego & desires, etc, etc. Its things like laziness, the child in you doesnt want to do it, the child in you doesnt want to know, doesnt want to do, all about WANTS. Even though it makes sense intellectually to eat healthily, everyone knows this. You ask everyone, is it good to eat healthy, answer is YES. Ask anyones Nufs, it will tell ya, I WANT NICE THINGS TO EAT WHEN I WANT TO EAT AS MUCH AS I WANT. How many times are you thinking about your health or the times you are eating, and how much you are eating, what your eating, when you do eat? Even though you know its good to eat healthy.

You all know what is good and what is bad, but how many of us smoked, took drugs, had free careless sex out of lust, cheated, lied, and it was SOO EASY to do it? Why? cause we are in a constant state of self denial, of hiding that true self in us.

In Islam, we are taught to face our own selves. You only get away with cheating, lieing, etc, etc, cause you aint dealing with it, you deny it. Most shopaholics deny they have a problem, just as do alcoholics. How many smokers do you know, told you that they are not addicted and that they can give up when ever they want. I have heard this from almost EVERY smoker I ever knew. Even though I tried to convince them they are 'lieing' to me and to themselves.

So what do we do in Islam? We take responsibility of our Nufs, just like parents are to take responsibility of their children.

Now, what happens is, people dont hold themselves accountable and check themselves. As my Shayk says, "Check yourself, Before you wreak yourself". If you aint keeping your desires, anger, emotions, ego in line, in check.. someone else is gonna be keeping them in check with their own ways,.. yup, the whispers of the Devil. An unchecked bit of Nufs, is like a child that is allowed to run riot.

This is "Jihad-ul-Nufs", and believe me, it is the most difficult struggle, esp living in this world, of commercialism, consumerism, where they are continually reaching out and appealing to your Nufs.

I am struggling very hard, .. and its taking its toll. InshAllah, I want to be the best parent I can be to my children, how can I be, if I have not gone through Fa-Na ( when your Nufs become a Fortress, your mind and Soul a Fortress, and the Devil can not knock it or penetrate it ). here is a poem.


Whispers of Satan, by Souladvisor



Stay in your bed, don’t make a fuss.
Your prayers can wait; give into your Nufs. (1)

What! Go to the mosque, the path you’ll pave?
Don’t bother, think of the gas you’ll save.

Why go the extra miles to be kind?
Don’t share that smile, they won’t mind!

Listen to your parents, why should you?
You’re big enough, don’t let them tell you what to do!

Don’t look at those orphans, what could they need?
You have your own problems, and family to feed.

Wear good hijob? Oh me, Oh my, you’ll be targeted as a Muslim and put to shame.
Just wear no makeup, and dress simple and plain.


Go for Jihad? No not you.
It’s not your problem, what can you do?

Don’t worry about Jennah, your place is reserved.
I promise you’ll get all you deserve.

Preach about Islam, and be nice?
Listen to me, and take my advice!!!

Don’t fast during Ramadan, you’ll feel dead.
Don’t go for Haj, the heat you’ll dread.

Why give charity, or feed the poor?
Don’t do it I say, They’ll just ask for more.

Don’t visit the Muslims, they’ll bite your back.
Don’t stop your work for prayer, it’s money you lack.

Then he makes you hoard your wealth.
He thinks while he talks, and laughs to himself.


You take me as your friend, and don’t give me a fight.
I’ll take you to hell to gain respite.

On the judgement day we will meet.
Allah’s plan we can not defeat.

Shatan thinks and thinks of more to say.
Say A’ oothoo billahi, and make him run away.

Dear believer, don’t let shatan put you to the test.
You can overcome him, just do your best.

(1) Arabic word: Nufs - meaning yourself.
http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/souladvisor/

self realisation - self awareness

24th Sept 2005

Ive been going through a lot of self awareness and realisation the past few days. I think its going to continue. The month of Ramadhan is meant to be like that. Its the month that Satan's whispers are silenced to those preforming the fast. So any dirty lil thoughts, images and whispers one hears, is ultimately from their own ego and poisoned heart. I recall last Ramadhan, it was scary for me, cause I was hearing and seeing AWFUL things come out. However, my Shaykh tells us, that when you have a really dirty bucket. You pour in clean water, the dirt has to come up first. So.. thats what happens to those that are practising the spiritual cleansing during the initial stages. Something we Muslims (and I also believe most religious and spiritual people) are meant to be doing always. The word Sufi, its.. its a label, not a title, a category, not a group. We dont really call ourselves Sufi's, though everyone else (ie all other Muslims) call us Sufi's, so.. why confuse people by saying we are something else that they dont recognise, people recognise the 'label' that is 'Sufi'.

Well.. i realised one of the diseases of the heart I had.. was of ego and arrogance. Now when you think of some who has an ego or arrogance. You think of someone who is outwardly showing off, or.. exuberating this kind of over confidence in themselves. I believe I had some sort of over-confidence .. yeah lots of it showing, but i never saw confidence and arrogance in the same boat. Now I realised, I was the kind, that didnt care what he really looked like on the outside and how I was seen. I could get humiliated and I didnt really care. Why? Cause I was cocky n confident on the inside, I already felt too good about myself underneath, so it didnt matter what hit me. Obviously, such things and attitudes grow sneakily within a person over time. As it did so within me. Something like this aint easily spotted by everyone. Especially by the subject concerned, however thats what true friends I would add are for. It was my closest of friends and my older brother, that brought this to my attention. However, it was through trials and tribulations that one goes through, that made me realise this. I done something that at first I was not ready to admit fault to. Something that had really dire consequences. Something that cause someone close to me a lot of agony, and between them and someone else who was once very close to them real agony.

My Shaykhs always telling us. Dont we want to sort ourselves out? Fix ourselves? Change our conditions to better oneself? Well is good things or bad things that change us? That affect us? Thats the neccessity and benefit of tests,trials and tribulations that one goes through in life. Especially for those that are on a spiritual path. Secularists, will equate and calculate whatever they see fit, as always. Yet even among them, there are those that have awakenings and have senses and episodes of self-awareness, and soul-searching. There are religious people that have cold dead hearts. There are people that are not religious, just humanitarian ( i cant think of any other label or category for them thats recognised), who have some of the warmest, humblest and noblest of hearts. Between my brother and my sister, and some of my friends out there are examples of this.

In Islam, we see life as this. In the Koran, God tells us that He is closer to us than our own jugular veins. However, what is the point of life, what is the point, infact how can there be a journey towards Him, if we have already arrived. Life is given its reason through the existence of our 'lower selves', our ego's, our sins, our vices, and via Evil. If there is no disobedience, and no Evil. Whats the point of Life? There would be no journey towards him. In Islam, we are taught to understand this. It makes the burden of Evil, sin, pain, suffering, and so forth, more bearable. Instead of something thats just pointless and meaningless.


You see, in Sufism, we study, learn and train the heart, mind and soul. You see, we call the emotions, feelings, good and bad "nuffs". They are within us as like animals and beasts in a Zoo. Our head or intellect is supposed to be that Zoo Keeper, we do hold the keys to them. We also feed them. (bear with me; im being metaphorical with significance for sake of clarity and trying to use as simple terms and explanations as possible). To feed those of hate, you do hateful things, or put up with hateful things, be in the company of hate, etc. To feed empathy, you socialise and interact and learn to be close to people, your open your heart to eachother and feel the hearts of others. To feed lust, you keep thinking about and occupy yourself around such things. To feed your own desires, your own wants and lusts, avarice and greed.. well you just keep feeding your own self and thinking of your own self, you keep prioritising and seeing things from your own point of view. Sometimes, these 'beast' can take over the Zoo Keeper, if he/she feeds them too much. Sometimes.. unfortunately we ultimately SUBMIT willingly to one of these beasts. In Sufism, we learn to starve the bad ones to keep them in control, and try to feed as much as we can of the good ones. In Islam, we learn to Submit to God alone, his Will, instead of our own small, impotent, short-sighted and selfish will. For if there is a God, should that God's Will be the best for us? IF not, then what kind of god would it be?



So with fasting. The belly is the home of the beast. The larger the stomach, the more room there is for it to be filled with .. anything that wishes to occupy it.. greed, avarice, lust, etc. Fasting helps to keep it in check. There is a Muslim Proverb that goes with this. I think you can call it a proverb or saying. It goes something like "When the stomach is full the limbs are hungry". So if the stomach is empty, the beasts within dont care about anything else, any other vice or sin or wants or luxuries, its concerned with the stomach. Once thats full, it opens the gate to all the other things. Hence, our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), never filled his stomach to full, except when he had guests, cause out of the curtesy they had, they would not eat more than the Prophet(pbuh).. so to make them not feel so bad about eating the food he has had provided for them, he would eat more than he is used to.

This is why, Ive been fasting every Monday and Thursday. Prophet Muhammad(pbuh), is known to have fasted every Monday and Thursday. The Prophet David(pbuh), he fasted every two days, thats why we call it the "Fast of David", when one fasts every other day. Fasting and self discipline and self control, are noble traits found in different degrees and levels across humanity. Look at Ghandi, look at Bhuddists, look at Catholic Monks, Hari Krishna's and so forth. Oh and not forgeting my favourite two groups.. the Martial Artists and Jedi Knights :) haha

Whole Worlds to Explore

How does one see others?

I like to see them as "Whole Worlds to Explore"


When two people meet, they are like two globes, and at that meeting point of them globes, is the transaction. From that part of the globe that is touching the other, is what is being manifested from essence to external attributes (voice, expression, behaviour, etc), and yet through that part also, is that globe seeing the other globe.

Upon seeing a person, upon meeting a person. You are only witnessing a glimpse into that persons life. A life possibly full of many things, a person full of many emotions, thoughts, dreams, ambitions, views, opinions, feelings, experiences, etc, etc.

Does the meeting of the globes, revolve aroud eachother harmoniously. Does one orbit the other. Do they clash, hurt eachother, or immerse in eachother pleasurably. How long is that contact kept, how far does the contact spread, from one part of anothers surface to another part, and so on.

Will you touch upon the surface, only to reel, having touched a side too warm and harse. Will you not have patience, to give a chance to see more? Or will you conclude judgment enough, just from that brief meeting?

If you stop at that exterior, you will never get to the interior, which is the real. Stop at the clouds, even if stormy, you wont ever find any peaceful lands to lay upon.

You could also stop at the exterior, and just love the exterior. However, that is superficial and superficial is not meant to last, for it is only an attribute of the real, not the real itself. If you were to delve in deeper, you may be rewarded by something so much sweeter to love, or find something to change your mind entirely about the relationship. So dont race to love upon reaching the beautiful skies, wait first to atleast get a touch of the ground below and give change to get a lil "Down To Earth together" :)

Oh how I wish to see what someone loves you for, as well as understand why anyone would not love you. Get the complete picture. A great adventour awaits you, at every rendevous.





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The First part. I just want to clarify something. Sometimes, you may look upon upon, or think upon something, in one state. In one mood, or in one angle, you see and think upon that thing differently, when in another mood or angle. Also, when looking and thinking upon something, in a different mood or angle, you usually sometimes notice new things. This is why, the part of that globe, that touches and presents itself to the other, is also in a way the part to reads and sees the surface upon the other globe. "When two people meet, they are like two globes, and at that meeting point of them globes, is the transaction."

Compassion since Birth

Love

All you need is Love, as the Beatles once sang.

Love is all you need, so many more have sung.

Love Thy Neighbour, Prophet Moses, Saviour of the Hewbrew People, Revelation from the All-Loving, All-Compassionate.



What is the opposite of Love, Hate. Any Alternative? How about indifference.
Can hate be justifiable? Of Course. Can hate be neccessary, yes, out of Love. Love for your loved one, is naturally what is love for whatever harms your loved one.
So Love has to be justified, just as Hate is justified, and in turn, both become neccesary in the 'equation'.

Though everyone can say, that Love is the desired out of all. Those who are experienced and well-endowned with wisdom to see deep into their experiences; would say that love's best reward, is its reciproca'tion.


So.. I wish to get personal in this writing of mine here. I am afraid I shall have to, to explain what I can see of this.
To be able to be Compassionate, is my goal. You see, Mercy is to give a poor person some aid. Love, is to be comfortable with the company of something or someone, in your pyshical presence and or emotional space; ie, your thoughts, your heart.
Compassion, is to give a poor person aid, because you have experienced yourself the hardships or being poor, and how much a little aid would mean to such a person, as it would have meant to you, when you experienced poverty. Compassion is to do with actually relating and feeling, other than your own self.
Compassion, thus far exceeds that of Love and Mercy on their own. It is more powerful and more secure, for a basis of any relationship.


Now.... I am not sure about anybody else. But for me, I absolutely LOVE and ADORE babies and lil kids. If you spend enough quality time with babies and small kids, and remember also that you were once like them, and so were everyone else, you too would love babies.
From that love, i feel compassion, or atleast try to, for everyone. Everyone, was in a mother's womb once. Everyone, was given birth to. Most of us, were taken care of, breastfed, nourished, protected preciously, loved and cared for. Its when something goes wrong with the nourishing, care and love, do many people turn out to be those of whom many of us find difficult having any form of compassion rather than hate towards.
However nasty a person is, I know that when they were a baby, I would still be inclined to adore that baby. Who among us, would say that they would kill Hitler, whilst he was still in his cot? Many could say, but in reality, standing infront of a cot, with a sane mind and healthy heart. One could not kill a baby, without utmost difficulty. A few may though. However, thats a question, of perception of the concept of fate. Which is a whole other field of philosophy, though connected to this in some respects.

I am not to say, that I would blindly give love out freely, and let myself be taken advantage of and made a fool of. For as I said before, to love, is also to hate that which harms that which you love. However, at the same time, we are connected, in the way we all came out of some form of compassion and could only be maintained and sustained through some form of compassion. For if hate, disgust or dislike overtook compassion, love and mercy, a baby would die neglected.
This is the same way, that some children grow up can become those whom some may despise. Adults, also, even after a nourished young life, may also become hard-hearted.
I just want to be a nourisher, rather than a drainer, as much as I possibly can. I want to stay in touch, with that compassion that brought us into this world. Rather than the Hate and Fear that takes most of us out of this world.

neccessity & justification

WE do not have the powers to do so much as one would wish probably to believe, foolishly enough. Its a good thing we all have restraints on our powers, for it seems that those that attain power, seem to fail sort of its responsibility. A brief look at current affairs should prove my point. However, that power must be somewhere, inevitably, and yes, there have been leaders and powerful fingures who were responsible to the extent plausible. Prophets, Ghandhi, Malcom X, Martin Luther King, Ho Chi Min of Vietnam, etc, etc.



The reason, why to suffer is a bad thing, is cause it is to suffer. It is one of those things that people do not prefer, especially when it is unneccessary and unjustifiable. Which means, there are some sufferings that are neccessary and justifiable. For instance, falling over and hurting yourself, cause your too drunk or stoned. Inciting someone enough with incorrect intention so that they reap revenge pyshically.

So suffering, is something inevitable. Who, does not suffer in some way or another? Who is so powerful and independent? None. But, there are things justifiable and neccessary, and things that are not so, to a degree.

See, you can look at your own life, and look at things within you and around you. Use the idea of justified and neccessary things. There is a sense of Justice and Neccessity that can be acquired with some reflective contemplation no? Your not born with it, but when people open their eyes and see, it becomes clear.

What & Who, How & Why, things are neccessary and justifiable, that is the question. Is that not the case?

Are there not the questions were are born to, and the questions we live to and die to?

What do you think?



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we have something right? That detests suffering to an extent within us all, even if its of a purely selfish self-centered nature. But IF IT IS the case that we are born and come into existence from nowhere, and die and leave nowhere. As in, we just came from non-existence to existence, and from existence to non-existence, without any real consequence.... either suffering means nothing, as life and death mean nothing. OR, suffering must mean something, as we have discussed. So does not life and death must mean something? Otherwise what the hell is the point of contemplating and feeling, of such a thing that is suffering?

What does life and death mean to you then, I ask again. : )